By Nyanzi Martin Luther
Cases of fondling among students in secondary schools should be a concern to every parent. Some learners engage in these acts without fully understanding the consequences, while others simply ignore school rules because they believe they are old enough to make their own decisions. When such behaviour is discovered, the result can be suspension or even expulsion.
But before we blame the students and their schools, parents need to ask themselves whether they are doing enough to guide their children.
Adolescence comes with many changes. At this stage, learners begin developing feelings for the opposite sex, and some become curious about physical intimacy. These feelings are normal, but children need guidance to understand how to handle them. Without that guidance, some may end up doing things that put their education and future at risk.
The problem is that some parents have left almost everything to schools. They believe that once they have paid school fees and provided the necessary requirements, their responsibility is fulfilled. They expect teachers to teach their children not only academic subjects but also discipline, respect and morals.
How do you expect a school to completely teach your child morals when the child spends only about eight hours there? Teachers have many students to attend to, lessons to prepare and school rules to enforce. They cannot be expected to take over the full responsibility of parenting.
A child’s behaviour should first be shaped at home. Parents need to talk to their children about growing up, relationships and respecting other people’s bodies. These conversations should happen before a problem arises, not after a school summons them over misconduct.
When parents fail to provide this guidance, learners often turn to their friends. Yet their friends may also be struggling to understand the same changes. Instead of correcting one another, they can encourage behaviour that eventually gets them into trouble.
Another problem is that some students think they know everything. They consider themselves adults and are unwilling to listen to advice from teachers or parents. They see school rules as restrictions rather than guidelines meant to protect them. When warned against inappropriate behaviour, they may ignore the warning until they face disciplinary action.
Fondling is not a matter schools should take lightly, particularly when it involves pressure, a lack of consent or the violation of another learner’s boundaries. Students must understand that having a boyfriend or girlfriend does not give them permission to touch another person’s body without consent. They also need to know that their actions can have consequences.
When suspension or expulsion follows, the learner is the one who suffers the immediate consequences. The parent may feel disappointed, and the school may face criticism, but the student risks losing valuable learning time. Some consequences can be avoided through early intervention, proper counselling and cooperation between parents and teachers.
Of course, schools must maintain discipline. They have a duty to protect learners and ensure that students follow the rules. But parents should not wait for the school to report a problem before becoming involved in their children’s lives.
Being a parent means more than providing food, clothing and school fees. It means knowing what your child is going through, listening to them and correcting them when necessary. Children may not always welcome advice, especially when they think they know better, but that does not mean parents should give up.
An opportunity lost is never gained. A student who loses time through suspension or is expelled may struggle to recover academically. Parents should therefore take the responsibility of guiding their children seriously while there is still time to prevent avoidable mistakes.
We cannot continue expecting schools to do everything while parents remain on the sidelines. Teachers can educate and discipline learners, but they cannot replace parents in their children’s lives.
If we want to reduce fondling in schools, the responsibility must be shared. Schools must enforce their rules, students must learn to respect boundaries, and parents must stop leaving the entire burden of raising their children to teachers. The foundation begins at home.
