You live a lie & tell half-truths, Sheilah Nyanzi attacks Stella

Sheilah Nyanzi

It was a long and exciting Thursday when Sheilah Nyanzi, a sister to Makerere researcher, Dr Stella Nyanzi, lashed out at her sister for telling Ugandans lies in her narratives.

The bitter Facebook brawl started from a post in which Stella alleged that her father used to beat their mother when they were children.

“My parents’ violence made me a fighter. I am a fighter because throughout my life I watched my mother fighting back against the aggressor in her husband, my father. I am a fighter because I know what it means to sit back and do nothing against violent aggressors. I am a fighter because I know that even when the violated walk away, their violent aggressors return again and again to beat them up. I am a fighter because I know that one day my mother used her sharp incisors to inflict a lesson upon my father’s slapping arm. She bit him so hard that she wounded and scared his arm forever,” Stella wrote.

Stella further said whenever she sees men skilfully beating the “engalabi” drum with so much vigour, she remembers how her father beat her mother with such passion.

“I have always wondered how a violent husband who inflicts pain upon his spouse can also be very sweet to outsiders. What runs in the psyche of two-sided men?”

Victoria University

She added: “I often wonder what goes on in the lives of children who were raised on the violent drama of their parents. I wonder about the children who choose to conceal the violence in the homes they were raised because they feel the shame of speaking the truth. I often wonder about those who choose to honour their violent parents with shameful silence.”

The quarrel

Stella’s younger sister, Sheilah Nyanzi, did not wait for “the ink to dry” before attacking her big sister for telling lies to gain cheap popularity.

Sheilah Nyanzi: Stop using our dead parent who can’t defend themselves in their silence to spice your writings. Why didn’t you write these in their lives so that they could speak up for themselves? This is 2018 and we are ready to defend the honour of our parents against your viciousness. We will fight for their honour by speaking truth back to you. RIP Mum & Dad

Stella Nyanzi: I will write my truths until I run out of them. Each of us must write our stories.

Sheilah Nyanzi: Truth is absolute Stella Nyanzi and you know it. You have long suppressed truth with concealment of full facts. You distort narratives with half truths about other people. You need to tel the truth in its entirety, otherwise you trade in lies. You cannot pretend to speak if you are living a lie yourself

Stella Nyanzi: Shall I write the truth about how Daddy beat Mummy when she was pregnant with Saatuka? Shall I write the truth about his violence to his pregnant wife leading her to miscarry and lose the child?

Stella Nyanzi: Shall I write the truth, Sheilah Nyanzi, about the nights we spent hiding under the bed with you and our other two sisters as our father brutalised our mother with blows, slaps and insults?

Stella Nyanzi: I am writing the truths about my life. Try to stop me if you can. If my truths are lies, point them out. But do not stop me from writing my truths.

Stella Nyanzi: I will not be silenced because I am writing my truths. I hate gagging and censorship.


Although she became the first person ever to challenge Stella’s “unbeaten run” on social media, Sheilah consequently lost the quarrel and retreated into silence.

Her big sister, armed with a loose tongue and more vocabulary, took the day and stretched her posts on their parents far and wide.

She told those who don’t like the posts to go home and “masturbate hard”.