Why I no longer want to be Uganda’s president

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Mugizi Yasoni

By Jason Mugizi

I at one time wanted to be Uganda’s president. While in primary three, our English teacher then, Mr Abel Bagambe gave us an exercise where he wanted all of us in class to write a short story of what we wanted to be in future.

I must start by confessing that I was born, raised and studied from plebeian conditions. My village which largely remains on the leeward side of every transformative effort had no and still hasn’t produced an Engineer, professor, doctor or a lawyer.

This was too much to ask of a village where the most educated people were church ray leaders, and most of us drew inspiration from our teachers and thus wanted to be like them-Majority of my peers’ wanted to be teachers at the end of Mr. Abel’s exercise.

I had a contrary view and wanted to be Uganda’s president in future.

While growing up, every aero plane that we identified in space above us, we referred to it as Museveni.I thus felt that flying in space would give me an amplified appreciation of Uganda.

However, my mind has changed overtime and I have come to appreciate that being Uganda’s president isn’t a walk in the park; be it the new or old taxi park! This is why no longer want to be a president of Uganda.

Being Uganda’s president involves incessant recitation of Uganda’s history including how the country is peaceful for the first time in 500 years yet I wasn’t blessed with such a sharp memory. I can only remember the Uganda that got her Independence in 1962.Perharps the country would miss out.

I changed my mind after realizing that becoming president Uganda would give me headache because of some undisciplined religious leaders that lecture the president about politics yet he doesn’t baptize children.

I thus wouldn’t be patient with such men of God who don’t read the Bible about giving Ceaser what belongs to ceaser!

I no longer want to be Uganda’s president because of the breakneck speed at which he is driven on roads as if he is running away from something. I have heart complications!

Of late it has become more than risky because the President’s car can be stoned by the opposition especially tens of hundreds of opposition Supporters led by Kassiano Wadri and Bobi Wine. An attempt to be one would put my life on the redline.

We are living in trying times where fools, pigs, idiots can wantonly murder Muslim sheikhs, a senior police officer and an amiable Member of Parliament such as the late Abiriga.To be Uganda’s president, I would need to muster the courage to see pigs obliterate lives which I don’t have.

Being Uganda’s president would involve contending with the public anger and perceptions that the first family is swimming in undue privilege at the expense of the downtrodden living under uncertainty like a drunkard’s cock.I therefore don’t want to anger anyone or be perceived in the negative.

Being Uganda’s president involves tolerating an ideologically bankrupt opposition which doesn’t appreciate the principles of Patriotism, nationalism, pan-Africanism and socioeconomic transformation yet I’m not so tolerant to let them stand in the way of achieving middle income status (2020) and Vision 2040!

I also don’t have high tolerance levels to deal with a rotten Electoral Commission, sleeping Members of Parliament and a police force ingrained with weevils.

Further still, I wouldn’t afford to see rehearsed strikes over salaries by Makerere University lectures that have an option go and rear goats.

Those that always ask me to change my  mind should know that I’m so emotional that I can’t comfortably give an interview to an Aljazeera journalist that doesn’t know that one can be a wonderful dictator that is always voted for.

What about leading a country where a frail MP like Zaake can escape from police custody?

Being Uganda’s president would make me use bottle irrigation on a demonstration farm yet I would be interested modernization of Agriculture through interventions operation wealth creation.

While being a president is highly coveted, one is at the peril of leading the country with wolves who he/she can’t bequeath its leadership too.

I pity people like Bobi Wine and Maureen Kyalya who want to be presidents. A strike by enemies of the state such as medical doctors can nearly drag them back to bush yet Luweero was cleared!

I wish good luck to all those that don’t associate with my skepticism, and want to dare be presidents.

Mugizi Jason is a Public Relations associate at Kagenyi Holdings group.

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