Public lice sucking me dry, Nyanzi mocks again  

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Dr Stella Nyanzi

A queer laughist, writer and critique from the non-core academia, Stella Nyanzi, is back at her old game, employing satire to criticise those who would imagine themselves masters of her destiny.

The Makerere University researcher claims to be fugitive in her own country following her psychological standoff with Uganda’s First Lady, Janet Kataaha Museveni, and her husband, President Yoweri Museveni, who she called “a pair of buttocks”.

Nyanzi was recently released from Luzira prison for having questioned Janet’s pledge to buy sanitary pads for schools.

Prosecution alleges that on January 28, 2017 she used a computer to post on her Facebook page “Stella Nyanzi” and made a suggestion against Museveni, which is obscene or indecent under the law.

Taking back to her social media platforms, Nyanzi used imagery to depict her tormentors as “pubic lice” that are sucking her blood dry.

“Pubic lice have been living in the strong hairs covering my mons pubis, for thirty-one years. At first, these pubic lice were a surprise to me. I wondered how pubic lice could be so white, tiny and innocent-looking?”

She further writes: “I got fooled by the sweetness of their itching whenever they sucked my blood. Not to be confrontational, I let these parasites, these pests, this vermin be.”

She claims that today, her whole body crawls with throngs of these emboldened pubic lice, which left concealed terrains on her groin and her “arse”, and boldly marched to the rest of her body parts.

“The pubic lice that suck my blood are now big-jawed, fat-bellied and thick-skinned. Their sense of entitlement sickens me.”

She adds: “The unquenchable power of their intestines emaciates and overwhelms me. These pubic lice are sucking me dry!”

Nyanzi quotes the bible, which says that the truth sets free.

She claims her troubles started by speaking “the truth to Joel and Janet about their nepotism, family rule, lies told in the form of promises to the poor, broken promises, corruption, kleptocracy, tyranny, despotism and stolen votes”.

“I spoke the truth to them about being out of touch with the reality of poor Ugandans, and the apparent foolishness. I used beautifully coloured language full of my home-grown truths.”

Nyanzi says this “Joel and Janet” [President and First Lady] got so angry at hearing the truth about themselves that they ordered her abducted, thrown in an unknown police cell, accused of cyber harassment and offensive communication, denied bail, and locked up in a maximum security prison.

“They huffed and they puffed and they called me insane for daring to tell them the truth about themselves.”

Nyanzi in the warm embrace of her children

“Does the truth liberate or is the bible a liar? Is it possible that Joel and Janet live in such a bubble? Is it possible that we have thoroughly insulated them from the bitter truth about their tyranny, to the extent that truth-tellers sound mad and hysterical to their ears? Do presidential advisers only drip with sweet deceitful praises of the tyrants running Uganda’s thirty-one year old dictatorship? What new naughtiness did I speak to Joel and Janet?”

Nyanzi says everything she told them and called them is “old stuff” in the ghetto banter clubs I relax in but recalls how she was arrested, jailed and denied freedom because  she reportedly spoke the truth but that her truths did not free her.

“The truth in Uganda does not free us. Don’t Joel and Janet make God a liar?”

Lashes at police for arresting children 

Having been released from jail, Nyanzi was glad to be reunited with her children saying her family is not safe when she is separated from her kids.

“It was really healing for me to hug, hold and kiss my children. We had a lot to catch up on.”

Nyanzi said its “evil, stupid and unprofessional of the police officials in Uganda” to arrest and detain the dependent children of remanded suspects.

“However, I refuse to be further intimidated into living away from my children to appease the fuckery of Museveni’s police. I refuse to hide away from my children, family, friends and neighbours because of fear of what the police will do to me or my children.”

She said her children are innocent pre-teens who neither have social media accounts nor participate in my activism against the misrule of the regime.

“I reject the further fracturing of my family because of fear of this despotic regime and its brutish police goons. Shame on the police for arresting and detaining the children of remanded suspects.”